Merely by chance (I was perusing the "recently updated" section of FF.net) I came across a story I couldn't NOT read (excuse my double negatives). Of course, my no holds barred (blunt bordering on mean) review attracted the ire of a few FF authors, especially after the author of the story published an entire chapter devoted to me... (Don't I feel special)... So I ask you, read, assess, tell me your thoughts on whether I'm an awful individual or an awfully correct individual.  
 

I suggest you also check out the author's copy and paste profile page. It's great for a wtf?! moment. (Particularly the touching poem on abortion. Can't tell I'm pro-choice...)

Story: Central Scouts
Author: SolarWinds
Summary: "EDITED - Poor Serena gets kicked out of the sailor scouts AND Darrien breaksup with her. so she goes to live with her cousins family read first chapter you'll findout how its done who are the central scouts. enjoy. please no flames"

So what happened?

1. I read the story (& laughed)
2. I reviewed as I honestly felt
3. I got a reply
4. I replied
5. Author SolarWinds published a chapter devoted to how horrible I am
6. Another FF user sent me a lovely message
7. I replied to that message
8. Another FF user reviewed

So feel free to hang around and see how it all pans out... I look forward to more moronic abuse. Feel free to make a judgement for yourself!

Kisses, Nara
 

Central Scouts Saga

1) Nara reviewing Central Scouts written by SolarWinds
Love, your story is short, non-sensical, and badly written. Your spelling and grammar are atrocious (that means really bad) and the plot could have been written by an intellecutally disabled eight year old.

As other people have no doubt pointed out, your whole story is illogical. The Sailor Scouts could have rejected Serena, Darien could have dumped her, but no doubt they would have done it with a bit more finesse than the “you suck!” parade you seemed to have rained upon her. In chapter three, Darien’s argument is illogical and again, you shat all over any form of grammar in your lack of capitalisation.

Your characters are one dimensional; in fact, they’re practically a dimensional black hole. The “Finished! Lol just kidding. That would be mean.” at the start of chapter four is the perfect touch to ruin any good formatting and logical chapter progression you could have had.
I think the piece de la resistance is: “Can I come live with you guys? Please. I’ll tell you everything” “Of course you can. Just hop on a plane and come on over here.” “Ok, just let me leave a note to Mom, Dad and Sammy.”Of course that is the most logical option, and hopping on a plane is as simple as that. If this is a joke story, well done. If not, you’re a moron.

“Guess who the 2 newies are. LOL you’ll never but try anyway.” My point made right there. In chapter six you have a record breaking 9 sentences, most of which are pointless and boring. Chapter 7 is an author’s note, which actually DOESN’T ALLOW, Chapter 8 ends with “Did you like it? I was even laughing as I mad this” which presumably is supposed to say “made” and I’ll tell you now, the only thing funny about your story is how abysmal (bad) it is. Chapter 9 is another author’s note where you spelt “distressed” wrong.

In chapter 5, “glow’s” should not have an apostrophe. In chapter six, “A.N. no offence if your 4 and reading this. Random age their” should have been “you’re” and “there”. In chapter 8, “detransformed” is not a word. Try ‘transformed back’ if you’re so stuck. In chapter 10, “Dam it!” should be “Damn it!”, in chapter 11 presumably “starred” should be “stared”, and in chapter 12, you’ve invented a new species called a “red haired with blue eyes”.
A quick look at your convoluted and mindless copy-and-paste profile has convinced me you’re probably about 12, and should stick to learning to spell before you try and write a story. Admittedly you’re not entirely to blame, your reviewers seem to be mindless imbeciles. And I quote chapter 10, “I’m surrounded by idiots.” NOTHING happens in your chapters. For example, chapter 12. They stand around repeating “Yes!” “No!” etc. for the whole chapter. There’s a few mindless sentences about the other scouts, then it ends.

I won’t be reading any more of your story, because it would offend me to add your story to my alert list. Some basic things you can improve on are: Plot, characterisation, spelling, grammar, formatting, chapter length and author’s notes.

For the record, although this review is overtly negative, it does show you the areas on which you can improve, which is what criticism is all about.

With much disdain, Nara.

2) Solarwinds to Nara

who give you the right to insult me!!??!!
if you don't like my stories DON'T READ THEM!

3) Nara to SolarWinds

I assume you mean “what gives you” or “Who gave you” ?

4) SolarWinds to Nara

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! STOP CORRECTING ME!!!!

5) SolarWinds in chapter 13 of Central Scouts

Nara Merald: next time I won’t say no-ones corrected me

Nara Merald: next time I won’t say no-ones corrected me. You don’t have to be such a rude person to me! I know detransformed isn’t a word, YOU DON’T HAVE TO POINT THAT OUT! I know the scouts wouldn’t betray Serena but I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE TO WRITE BETRAY STORIES!!!! Get a life. You don’t have to go round insulting people! Do you get a kick out of it?!?! Gee. If you don’t like the story… DON’T READ IT! Gosh!

6) KND Operative 2099 to Nara

Geez talk about RUDE!!! I don't normally send e-mails like this to anyone,
but you more than DESERVE it after what I read.
 
I just read your review for SolarWinds 'Central Scouts' fanfic, and you were
BEYOND rude about her story. Who do you think you are saying those kinds of
things about it? It's people like YOU who make authors give up on the stories
they put their heart and soul into righting, and deny the people who actually
LIKE the story from getting to see how it ends because comments like yours.
 
Obviously you got hit on the head when you were a kid, or no one bothered to
teach you about proper manners when it concerns other peoples feelings. How
would YOU like it if someone said the SAME things that you did to one of YOUR
stories? You didn't even care that you might have hurt the author's feelings
with EVERYTHING you said in that review.
 
I mean who bloody CARES if the spelling or grammar is bad, as long as you
actually UNDERSTAND what's going on it it? The stories GOOD despite everything
you moaned and griped about that you just HAD to voice your grievances about
in EIGHT paragraphs that totally dissed it.
 
I mean unless you skipped straight to the final chapter JUST to voice your
hatred of the story, then there must have been SOMETHING about it that you
liked if you actually bothered to get THAT far into the story before making
that IDIOTIC review. If you don't like the story then don't bother reading or
reviewing it at all, and keep your bloody opinions to yourself if you can't be
bothered at least say something NICER when complaining about it.
 
Another thing. Catch a clue lady. The story is called a FANFIC. It doesn't
HAVE to follow what the original storyline went if the AUTHOR writing it
doesn't want it to. If SolarWinds wanted Darien to break up with Serena for
HER story, then it's her RIGHT to do so. I mean every other author has
practically done it in their stories so why shouldn't she if the idea of a
breakup appeals to SolarWinds? It's also up to HER whether or not she pairs
Serena with another guy, or find a way to put Darien and Serena back together,
though I'm hoping that Serena gets together, and STAYs together, with another
guy. The whole Serena breaks up with Darien then gets back with him at a much
later date thing is overdone.
 
Face it. Darien and Serena are wrong for each other. I used to be a MAJOR fan
of the pairing until I Sailor Stars I changed my mind. The ONLY reason Darien
supposedly 'loves' Serena, is because of memories of their past life together,
and the same goes for Serena. Look at how much they hated each other, at least
Serena did, back in the first season. Then all of a sudden when their memories
of their past lives come back, it's like whatever positive or negative
feelings they had for each up until that point COMPLETELY disappeared and was
replaced by the feelings they had for each other in their past lives.
 
It's almost like their forced to be together whether or not deep down they
don't want to be or not. Serena couldn't even be simply FRIENDS with another
guy, meaning Seiya, without the Outer Senshi butting their noses in and trying
to warn her away from what looks to be a harmless guy, and if warning HER
fails they try and threaten the guy in question into staying away from her or
else.
 
It's like the Outers aren't taking any chances that their princess might find
a guy she likes more than Darien, and thus threaten Crystal Tokyo's future
existence if she gets together with THAT guy instead of Darien. I think if
Darien had never come back at the end of Stars, Seiya MIGHT have had a chance
with Serena.
 
Before you type something down, you should actually STOP and THINK about how
would YOU feel if someone said the same things that you did, before you bother
typing down and posted it. You'll probably be getting a LOT of hatemail
because of what you said.

7) Nara to KND Operative 2099

Re: I'm the scum of the universe (etc.)

I felt that just as I "DESERVED" PM from you, so too did you "DESERVE" a reply from me. To start off with, I left channels of reply for a reason- it would have been downright cowardly to leave an anonymous review like that... although probably easier if I'm really going to have to put up with email after email of "i h8 U ur so meen!"

As SolarWinds felt it necessary (despite it being against FF regulations) to devote a whole chapter as an author's note just to bitch me out so other morons could soothe her wounded ego, I'm sure I will get more hatemail. And I will take that hatemail seriously on the grounds a) It's grammatically legible and b) someone actually comes up with a reasonable, logical argument. You've failed categories a) [spelling and grammar] and b) [An astounding 377 words of verbal diarrhoea about how Serena and Darien are the worst couple in the world]... congratulations.

First of all, of course I've received similar kinds of emails, it happens to everyone at some point. I'm not saying I'm the best writer in the world, no doubt everyone will flock to point out flaws in my stories, and I’m sure they do exist. Pointing out shortcomings gives an author the ability to change them, and improve, if they’re not too sulky to admit it. My stories have benefited highly from the criticism I receive. The only difference between my review and a flame was mine was generally accurate criticism simply put rather bluntly and meanly.

I'll let you in on a little secret: I don't give a fuck about whether Darien hates Sailor Moon or how much you wish Seiya is Serena's one true love...

The point I was trying to make was not that she changed the events in the story; it was that her whole story was badly written. The story was abrupt, had no in-depth characterisation or rational motivation for character actions and was comprised of 9 sentence chapters half of the time.

I'd like to respond also to your comment about people putting their heart and soul into writing a (shit) story and being discouraged- maybe it's a sign?

Other points I'd like to make:

1) "they put their heart and soul into righting" (or writing, even)

2)"because comments like yours" (of?)

3) "I mean who bloody CARES if the spelling or grammar is bad, as long as youactually UNDERSTAND what's going on it it?"

(WHAT happened in it? Nothing! It is a travesty of poorly written NOTHING!

Secondly, FF.net cares because you are actually required to edit and spell check your chapters before posting as a courtesy to readers, rather than publishing a sub-par product.)

4) "Another thing." (Another thing: two words don't constitute a proper sentence.)

I think you’d have more success being indignant on poor, hapless SolarWinds’ behalf if you thought things through just a little bit more. Good luck with that love.
- Nara

8) Kuradok Evangeline reviews Central Scouts

** Review Marathon! ** Yeah! WO!

Like ZOMG this is one of the most entertaining, best stories I've read in ages!

I just feel like I'm in your story, its so emotional and in depth. Also, completely believable, you can just imagine that happening. You leave me hanging and I just want more. Your author notes are a great addition to the story, and how your chapter titles are so creative!

I wish I could write fanfic as good as yours, you should totally publish a fanfic book or something. Also, I think it totally makes sense, and makes me laugh.

Lastly, I want you to take everything I've written, make it the opposite, times it by 100, and put the keyboard away for a little while until you grow some skills in fiction writing instead of spamming up the site with useless jibberish that my pet Lizard could have written better on crack. Come back when you have some english skills, a better sense of humour and some form of creative writing ability. THEN...and only THEN will it be acceptable to continue writing. Any further chapters in this area are only putting you to shame. I also feel sorry for the 50 reviews you've received. They either don't have a life, are lizards on crack, or pity you so much they've decided to review.

I love Sailor Moon, and they would be put to shame to read your mush of words, that sound like they've been written by a hobo trying to earn himself a few dollars for his next nicotine fix. Let me know once you improve, in a few years or so, Cuz right now I feel like a stupid 5 year old trying to read your poor grammer.

Pretty sure that Nara chick has hit the lion right on the balls with her review. Couldn't agree more.

K, Evangeline

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